Entrepreneur! Know Your REAL Friends - Accepting Help Indiscriminately Could Get You Exploited!

Lesson On The Use Of Deception In Businesshandouts" and offers of charity from those who try to
Strategy(From A Movie - And An Ancient Book)feel sorry for you. Don't let them - you don't need that.
If you don't mind I'd like to start this piece with aInstead borrow money/accept help, in exchange for a
narrative of the closing stages of an interesting movie Ipart of something you own e.g a stake in your
once watched titled TROY. If you do mind, then skip tobusiness etc. If you took the right decision about
the next section, as I believe I've put in enough fromstarting your business in the first place, you are not
there to still convey most of my intended message :-).likely to regret it subsequently. If you won't regret it,
It was intriguing to watch a scene in the movie, wherewhy should you let someone feel bad on your behalf?
the Greek warriors, led by their famous fightingIt can get quite difficult to keep this up however,
machine character "Achilles", exploited the somewhatespecially with the lack of money biting away at your
fatalistic and excessively religious mentality of thesubconscious. But, if you are a student of success, you
Trojans. They did this by placing a gigantic wooden giftshould by now know that it is challenges of this nature
horse surrounded by corpses of Greek soldiers whothat WILL make you strong.
looked like they had been afflicted by a strange illnessAdversity Can Help You Discover Who Your REAL
on an open field where it would be easily found by theFriends Are(NOT)!
Trojans. When the Trojan King and his priests saw it,Let me tell you one good reason why you should be
they readily interpreted it(as the Greeks had hopedgrateful for adversity of this kind e.g. lack of money. It
they would) to mean their gods were at last fightinghelps you find out who your real friends are(and/or
for them by visiting the strange illness on the Greeks.ARE NOT). Adversity for a business startup/owner
They believed that was why the Greeks had sent incan often come in the form of LACK - be it of money
the gift horse as an offering to appease the gods ofor access to other need resources. Money issues in
the Trojans.particular have always caused problems between
Ignoring the protests of a few - including their king'speople who had otherwise excellent relationships.
son, who proposed that the gift be burned(Achilles andThat's why I always say this: For any two
his guys who were hiding inside the giant horse-giftpeople(including husband and wife) to really prove they
must have been terrified to hear that!) - the Trojansunderstand themselves thoroughly, let them
had the gift horse dragged through their hithertodemonstrate THAT understanding repeatedly and
impregnable city gates(which had kept attackers likeconsistently in relation to money issues.
the Greeks out for years), right into the city center.When your "friend" suddenly sees that you no longer
The people then danced late into the night celebratingseem to (note that I said "seem to") have that spark in
the "apparent" surrender" of the Trojans.your eyes, that confidence with which you spoke six
Hmm, how ironic. What they did not know was thatmonths earlier about your business, how does s/he
the Trojans knew them so well, that they hadbehave? Does s/he still keep extending support to you
expected this kind of reaction, and had played on it- financially or otherwise? Or does s/he suddenly start
deliberately, to get behind the famed walls. Late in thetelling you s/he is busy; hardly returns your phone calls,
night, long after the celebrations had ended and all the"talks down" to you before others etc?
people had gone back to their homes to sleep, theWhat Do You Do With The "REAL" Friend(s) That
Greek soldiers hidden in the giant wooden horse giftYou Discover?
began to emerge. Within minutes, they began takingBut what if the person DOES keep on giving you the
out the guards, and killing any other Trojans they metsupport or assistance as and when the need arises?
along the way. In no time, they had opened the cityDo you just keep accepting it as it comes? My
gates, and let their waiting compatriots in. The greatexperiences have taught me the answer to that
city of Troy fell - VERY badly.question is a VERY BIG "NO"! You cannot afford to
So, what really happened to cause this tragedy? Thesimply assume that anyone would do that much for
Trojans acted naively. They too readily assumed thatnothing. It would be unwise to even accept such. The
their "pagan" enemies who had traveled a greattruth is that not everyone can be that selfless! There is
distance to fight them had succumbed to the powerVERY likely to be something that person is looking to
of the gods of Troy. They let what they felt - andget, for helping out so much - and it may not
wanted badly to see/hear - cloud their judgment ofnecessarily be money. So you'd better find out quickly,
what was BEFORE them. At the point when theyand ensure you're willing to give whatever it turns out
contemplated what to do with the gift horse, even theto be. If you find you cannot give it, then you can
most competent among them lost hold of his criticalquickly stop him/her before letting things go too far.
thinking skills, and succumbed instead to wishful thinkingLet me repeat myself. It is in your best interest to
encouraged by overzealous priests.quickly ascertain a person's motives for helping you if
The Greeks had done the opposite. They had studiedthey ever come your way - else you might regret not
their enemies well. They knew their strengths(fromdoing so, much later. No matter how well you think you
many unsuccessful attempts at trying to force theirknow people, you can never know them well enough. I
way into the city), and took pains to discover theirhave found that human beings are always able to
weaknesses. They then put together a plan to exploitsurprise themselves again and again. This can be
the latter, in order to achieve their aims. In my opinion,especially true where money issues are concerned!
the foregoing is an excellent example of theThere was a Power Point slide show presentation
application, by the Greeks, of the principles described incirculated on the Internet some years ago that found
a book titled "The Art of War" (regarded as a classicits way into my outlook e-mail box in my last
work on strategy in warfare) written by Sun Tzu, anworkplace. It was a kind of parable about life. There is
ancient Chinese General reputed to have beenone particular phrase I took away from it which goes
extremely successful in war.something like this: "Not everyone that puts dirt on your
Consider the quote below, from that book:head is your enemy, and not everyone that takes the
"Therefore, when capable, feign incapacity: whendirt off your head, is your friend".
active, inactivity. When near, make it appear you areWith reference to that parable, I will say that you may
far away when far away, that you are near....I makewant to always watch out for the tell tale signs of
my enemy see my strengths as weaknesses and mypeople who try to use you. Some come close to you,
weaknesses as strengths while I cause his strengthsif they think you look like you might soon get a
to become weaknesses and discover where he is notbreakthrough - they want to be around at that time, so
strong...I conceal my tracks so that none can discernthey can claim to have been there for you(and
them; I keep silence so that none can hear me"therefore share the spotlight/moment of glory). Others
- Sun Tzu, in "The Art Of War"are hoping that by helping you, you will remember them
Incidentally Mark R. McNeilly in his book "Sun Tzu andwhen you get to the "top", and open doors for them in
the Art Of Business - Six strategic principles forreturn. Again, that is if they feel you could do very well.
managers" translated the strategic concepts from theIn such instances, they "stick around". But soon as they
original book by Sun Tzu - into successful businessget what they consider strong signals that things might
strategies. In his book, McNeilly describes the principlenot turn out the way they expected, for you, their
of Deception and Foreknowledge (along with fivedispositions change. Always be ready for such, and
others) as crucially important for achieving success intake it in your stride.
business.Summary
Among other things, he explained that if you wish toThe foregoing points should be in your mind when you
get ahead of your business competition, you must dowant to take that decision to accept the offer your
a very deep level of research and analysis. Something"friend" or "relative" has made that you save your
like that done by the Greeks in the movie I justmoney by moving into his/her house for instance. At
described. I would add that this means you have tothe initial stages, it might seem like a good idea, and
study them well enough to understand HOW THEYcould even be fun. But, you cannot often be sure of
THINK, and WHAT makes them do the things they do,what an individual's temperament will be when faced
the way they do them. By so doing, you will not onlywith the reality of the fact that you have at a point
be equipped to anticipate their next moves, BUT youbecome something of a liability(I refer here to the
will also know what moves YOU can make that theypossibility of tough times in your business startup lasting
will be UN-prepared for, and will therefore be unable tolonger that you anticipated).
respond to.Things can get a bit nasty when the rough patches
In effect you would know how to get - and stay -come. If the person you accepted to stay with, is not
ahead of them.one who really believed in what you were doing from
Sometimes A "Good Thing"(E.g A FREE Gift) May Notthe beginning, then you will notice a change from his
Be Good For Youher "body language". If unfortunately you are not in a
If you are in the habit of accepting unsolicited offers ofposition to - for instance - move elsewhere, you will
help or support from just about anyone who makesthen have to accept some not-too-friendly treatment
them, you can set yourself up to be ripped-off orfrom your "friend" till you can! That's not likely to help
exploited causing needless suffering/setbacks. Whenyou maintain the preferred positive mental attitude
you first begin your business, you will likely be oftenneeded to get you through the difficult periods. So, be
short on cash. Those periods might force you to havecareful how you accept seemingly harmless offers of
to depend on others.assistance, or you might end up getting into BIGGER
Sometimes, people will offer to help by giving youtrouble, than the one you needed help to GET OUT
money, but James Cook and others advice that toOF in the first place!
succeed, you will eventually have to "turn your back on